


The Broken Ribs Poked Our Lungs

by EmilyTT



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Dark, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey & Rose Tico Are Best Friends, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Palpatine, Rose Tico Deserved Better, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23217772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyTT/pseuds/EmilyTT
Summary: Killing Palpatine didn't result in Rey's death. Instead, the ritual was completed and all the Sith encroached on Rey's mind.Ben Solo, Poe Dameron, and Finn brought her back to the Resistance, but they have to keep her restrained as they try to find a way to save her.One day, Rey wakes up while Rose is watching over her.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	The Broken Ribs Poked Our Lungs

“Come on, Rey,” Rose cajoles quietly, desperately to the sleeping woman strapped to the bed. “Come back to us.”

Silence, as always, is the only response that Rose receives, but she can’t bring herself to care anymore. After several months of hearing Rey’s agonized shrieking at what felt like nearly every passing moment the young Jedi spent awake, the quiet was a slightly more welcome thing to hear. That way, whenever Finn, Poe, Ben, or Rose went to relieve one another from their shifts watching over her, they could almost imagine on the walk down the hallway that Rey has been given a moment of peace, or reprieve from the hundreds of voices of the Sith whispering in her ears.

Rose is completely aware that this isn’t the case – Rey’s vocal chords have simply been shredded to the point that she can’t scream, can barely produce any sounds anymore – but it takes a fraction of the stress and grief off of their shoulders to think that Rey isn’t always being tortured, stuck in her own mind and world trying to fend off the Sith.

She takes Rey’s hand in her own, mindful of the shackle securing the woman to the bed, and gently rubs small circles on the back of her small, bony hand, and Rose nearly flinches at how cold Rey’s hand is in comparison to hers.

“We’re going to figure this out,” she promises the young Jedi for what must be the millionth time, allowing her gaze to roam over Rey’s face. “We’re going to save you, Rey.”

As usual, Rey shows no sign of having heard her friend, though her eyes begin moving around under her eyelids. Rose holds onto her breath, wondering if Rey is about to wake up. Rose hopes she does, as horrible as it sounds.

For the past few days, Rey had always been in a deep slumber during Rose’s watch over her. From her understanding, Rey had been acting up during Finn’s and Ben’s watches to the point that the medical droids had to sedate her in order to prevent her from causing any more damage.

“It’s okay, Rey. I’m right here,” she whispers, trying to coax her awake.

Instead of opening her eyes, Rey’s brows furrow and her faces twists up as if in pain. A soft, raspy whine escapes from her throat, and Rose instantly leans forward in her chair and rests the hand not holding Rey’s on her forehead. She frowns when she feels how hot Rey’s forehead is.

Rey whines again, and Rose wants to cry. Even in sleep, Rey is not left alone.

In the early days of Rey’s imprisonment, one night when Rose came in to replace Ben on watch duty, she had found him disheveled on the ground as far away from the bed as possible. His eyes were wide, his body quivering with uncontrollable trembles. He said Rey was whimpering in her sleep. He had tried to coax Rey to good dreams, but when his mind slipped into hers, it was all he could do to throw himself out before being completely and utterly consumed by all of the voices he heard. _“Sometimes” he had panted, his glistening eyes rimmed by red, “the worst place you can be is in your head.”_ To this day, no one knows what Ben heard.

Closing her eyes, Rose feels two tears streak down her face and fall on her lap. When she opens them after a minute, she looks Rey up and down. Once tan and stacked with muscle, a lack of exercise and refusal to eat on most days has reduced Rey to a shell of her old self. Rey had always been thin, but now she truly is essentially skin and bones, the muscle long ago burned up, and the pale, pasty complexion of her skin combined with her gaunt face makes her almost look like a corpse.

Another set of tears fall down Rose’s face. She removes her hand from Rey’s forehead and instead moves it down to completely encompass Rey’s hand within her own, trying to pass some heat to the bony structure before her.

All of their research into how to help Rey has proved fruitless, although time and again they have come up with their own theories. Primarily, Poe or Finn would have an idea, and Rose would listen to it while Ben wearily shot it down, usually saying “that’s not how the force works!” while tiredly rubbing his hands over his face.

Truthfully, Rose feels bad for Ben Solo. For starters, he was nearly killed on sight when Poe and Finn went looking for Rey on the surface of Exegol. The only reason he hadn’t been was because Finn could sense the light in Ben Solo trying to ground the overwhelming surges of darkness pulsing through Rey.

Rose hadn’t been there at the time, but Finn told her one night how unnerving it was to watch the light that was Ben Solo slowly limped towards Rey, who was standing stock still and facing away from them, towards the Emperor’s throne once stood, specks of lightning flickering around her body. How, when Ben had finally reached Rey, she let out an ear-piercing scream and the entire room, which had already been vibrating, began to violently shake. How he’d had to knock Rey unconscious with the force, caught her as she collapsed, turned to Finn and Poe, and asked if they had force suppressants before collapsing himself.

With Ben Solo being the only other trained and experienced force user, it was agreed upon that his trial was to be postponed until after Rey has been “fixed” so that he could help find a solution.

Ben worked far too hard, rarely sleeping unless he was forced into it or his body shut down from sleep deprivation. Dark circles ran under his eyes and paralleled Rey’s own. A month ago, when his resources were run dry and he was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, he explained to Rose how he and Rey were a dyad in the force, and though Rose was still leery on the force and didn’t understand it, she tried to, for his sake. He explained how they were two bodies sharing one soul, and with the suppressants on Rey cut off their connection, leaving him feeling completely desolate, both inside and out.

She doesn’t think she will ever forgive him for the acts he committed as Kylo Ren, but she felt empathy for him that night, and a large part of her heart warms at the knowledge that he is trying to save what he loves.

 _Her hair is too long_. The thought comes to Rose out of nowhere, snapping her out of her thoughts. Rey’s hair, which once ran just below her shoulders, now flowed out to the middle of her back, her hair stringy and greasy and unkempt. _Maybe it’s time to get her in the ‘fresher_.

She knows it’s unlikely for that to happen anytime soon, though. Even with force suppressants on her wrists and being unhealthily skinny, Rey had proved herself to be a formidable opponent.

The first time they tried cleaning Rey, the young woman had woken up while Rose’s back was turned to grab a towel to begin drying the former scavenger off. Rey had tackled her to the ground before she could even try to process what had happened. Rose will never forget that wild, murderous look in Rey’s eyes as she chanted something in what Ben later informed her was Sith language. Luckily, Finn, who had been standing outside the room, heard the commotion and ran in before Rey could fully choke the life out of Rose. Between coughing fits, she had heard Finn say _“Rey, what are you doing? Stop!”_

Rey’s fingers suddenly twitch in Rose’s grip, and then dull, hazel eyes snap open and fixate on the ceiling. Rose sucks in a sharp breath, carefully disentangling her hands from Rey’s on the off chance the woman decides to try and crush her hands.

Just as she has done every other time Rose has witnessed Rey waking up, the woman instinctively gives a tug on each of her limbs, only for her motions to halt to a jerking stop as her wrists and ankles pull taught on the restraints pinning her to her bed.

She tries to analyze the look in Rey’s eyes. She has been told that when Rey’s eyes are glassed over or dazed, Rey is stuck in her mind listening to the hundreds of whispers trying to sway her beliefs, spirit, and soul. Even Ben isn’t sure if Rey is aware of her physical surroundings in these times, or if she sees something else entirely. Then there’s the rare times that Rey is lucid and herself, and these times have been determined to be when her eyes are clear.

Rose isn’t sure how lucid Rey truly is in her current predicament, given that at this point it is nearly impossible to discern when Rey’s eyes are clear or glassy and dazed due to the dull haze that has become the new norm. One thing she is certain of is that Rey isn’t happy –whatever happiness may be in Rey’s strange new world – and there is no denying that Rey is not happy.

She swallows hard. Slowly releasing her breath, Rose gingerly reaches out and places a warm and welcoming hand on Rey’s arm.

At the first recognition of physical contact, Rey’s gaze darts to Rose’s eyes, and the former scavenger’s breathing picks up rapidly, her chest heaving. Rose could almost swear that a layer of dreariness dissipates from Rey’s eyes, but before she can take a closer look, a strangled mewl escapes from Rey’s battered throat, and her mouth opens as if she wants to say something.

All that comes out is garbled, raspy nonsense, and Rose leans forward, still wary and ready to lurch back if this is a trick and Rey tries to harm her.

But through the pleading whispers, Rose can make out a single word, and after a moment, she realizes that Rey is saying the same thing over and over again: “Please.”

Squeezing Rey’s arm reassuringly, Rose once more leans back in her seat, and waits for Rey’s delayed reaction in following her with her eyes.

She furrows her brows. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t understand.”

Rose hesitates, and then she realizes just how chapped Rey’s lips are. “Do you want water?”

Rey’s eyes water in frustration as she slowly shakes her head, and she jerks her hand against her restraint. She holds her hand out, palm up, and waits for Rose to carefully bring a hand to hers. With shaking fingers, Rey’s fingers curl around Rose’s hand, and she once again says, “please.”

Rose stands up, her hand not leaving Rey’s. “Do you want Ben?” she asks, still trying to figure out if this is Rey she’s talking to. Again, the younger woman shakes her head.

This time, when Rey shakes her head Rose sees tears begin to stream down the other’s face, and she knows that this is Rey, _her Rey_ , her friend and bunkmate of a year and best friend of Finn.

The last time Rose had had a conversation with Rey, it had been shortly after the final battle on Exegol. Rey had woken up during a medical evaluation to determine the extent of the injuries she received fighting the Emperor, as well as to see if there was any physical explanation for how they could save Rey from what had transpired. Finn and Rose sat at Rey’s bedside, waiting for the diagnosis from the medical droids.

Just as the medical droid informed them about various old broken bones that had never quite healed properly - as if the implications of that hadn’t made Rose sick enough – Rey’s hazel eyes opened. She looked so out of it, and it was in that moment that Rose realized just how young Rey looked. Rey told them that she never was able to scavenge enough to afford to properly take care of wounds sustained on Jakku, and Rose had ignored the bile in the back of her throat to shakily ask Rey her age. The jedi looked confused for a moment before responding with “twenty?” and Rose promptly left the room and threw up. Minutes later, shrieks could be heard coming from the room, and they had had to sedate Rey.

Angry and upset, Rose had yelled at Poe and Finn the following morning, demanding to know why they dragged a then nineteen year old into their war and then let a twenty year old chase after the Emperor on her own. _“Do you not realize how traumatized she must be?”_

Rose lets out a sob and collapses to her knees before cupping Rey’s cheek with her right hand, her left still held in Rey’s weak grip, and she almost loses it when Rey subconsciously leans into the touch, greedily drinking in the feeling of physical contact.

She bends over the bed and, carefully tugging her hand from Rey’s, gently pulls the younger woman into a hug. Rey tilts her head into the crook of Rose’s neck and heart-jerking sobs ripple through Rey’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” Rose whispers, and her voice cracks. She’s sorry that Rey has been through so much in her short life. She’s sorry that over half of it was spent in isolation, and now she undoubtedly feels just as desolate as Ben Solo because their bond has been _cut off_. She’s sorry that Rey can’t even return the hug because they don’t know when the Sith will break out of whatever Rey managed to trap them in. She’s sorry that things will never return to normal again, even if – no, _when_ – they free Rey of her seemingly endless pain.

It will take years of therapy to help Rey cope with the trauma.

Chapped lips stab against Rose’s neck, but she forces herself not to flinch, not to think about Rey’s hands – _but those hands weren’t truly Rey’s in that moment, not really_ – grasping her throat and squeezing in an effort to kill her while she speaks Sith.

Her grip around Rey’s back tightens instinctively when Rey’s body begins to tremble. A hand lifts to cup the back of Rey’s hand, ignoring the grease that’s gets on her, and Rey responds in turn by pushing herself as close to Rose as possible.

“I’m sorry,” she says again, because really, what can she say to try and make the situation any better? She can’t bring herself to lie to her friend and say that they’re close to saving her.

Rey’s breath hitches in the back of her throat, and then she speaks the clearest sentence that Rose is positive has come from her mouth in two months.

“It’s tearing me apart…”

For several moments, Rose pauses, trying to figure out what Rey means. She can’t possibly mean the Sith, because Rey should know that they’re all aware of what the Sith are doing to her psyche. So what could she mean?

Not being able to feel Ben, perhaps?

At this thought, Rose’s heart shatters just a bit more for her friend, because she knows that it will be a very long time before the force suppressants will be taken off, and even then, Ben still has trial, and who knows what will happen then.

But then, if that were the case, why did she shake her head no?

So what could Rey possibly – oh.

_Oh._

Rose pulls out of the hug and gently sets Rey back down. Her lower lip trembles, and she stares hard at into Rey’s eyes, hoping against all hope that Rey’s eyes will glaze over because even that would be better than what she knows Rey is about to ask of her.

Rey winces as she swallows the little bit of spit that has gathered in her mouth, and Rose knows exactly the moment when Rey realizes that Rose understands. Hazel eyes brighten in a way they hadn’t in ages. In fact, Rose isn’t even sure that she’s ever seen Rey look this relieved in her life.

“Let-“ Rey cuts off with a pained coughing fit, and Rose can only place a hand on Rey’s arm as a form of comfort.

A minute passes before the fit subsides, and when Rey turns back to look at Rose, Rose can see a small trail of blood leading down her friend’s chin. She gasps, about to call for a medical droid, terrified that all the stress on Rey’s body has caused severe internal damage, but then she realizes that the blood is just from cracked lips.

Rose scampers across the room to retrieve a wipe, and she tenderly wipes away the blood until the wound stops bleeding.

She’s turned around to toss the wipe when Rey speaks up again, pleadingly, desperately, begging –

“Let me go.”

– and her blood runs cold. Her knees tremble, wobble, and she darts an arm out to the wall in time to catch herself before she can collapse to the ground. Fresh waves of tears run unchecked down her face. She sniffles before she can turn into an ugly mess.

She can feel Rey’s pleading eyes boring into her back, but she can’t bring herself to turn around and face her friend, because that would suddenly make this even more real than it already is.

So instead, she stays exactly as she is, terrified that her legs will give out on her if she so much as tries to take another step.

And _of course_ her mind takes her back to Rey waking up, saying _“please”_ over and over again, and she vaguely wonders how many times it has been Rey who has woken up, not the shell left behind as her mind waged war with hundreds of whispers, and has tried and begged with whoever was watching over her for release. To be free of the pain.

And it’s in this moment that she realizes that no one but Ben has any idea what she’s actually fighting. Can she hear her friends talking to her as she sleeps or trying to cajole her to lucidity when her body is awake? Are the Sith just in her head? Or can she hear them in the physical world as well, both attacking her directly in her mind as well as whispering in her ears, replacing the voices that should be her friends? Can she see the Sith, or is it just the voices?

And then Rose thinks about how thin Rey has become. Her stomach churns. Has Rey been trying to attain her own release? And if so, how many methods has she attempted?

_“Rey, what are you doing? Stop!”_

Had _that_ been Rey, hoping that it wouldn’t be Finn to rush through the door, but some random Resistance member that would put an end to her in order to save Rose?

Rose turns around, eyes red and puffy from crying.

Rey meets her stare, a certain desperation flickering across Rey’s face.

Suddenly, Rey looks exhausted, weary. A part of her wonders how much of Rey’s strength it’s taking to keep the Sith at bay for this long.

Resolve settles deep in the pit of Rose’s heart. She knows what she has to do.

Rose grabs a needle from the tray on the far wall, and Rey visibly relaxes, something resembling a small smile igniting Rey’s face, making her seem somewhat healthy and not like a corpse.

Rose slowly approaches her friend, shielding the needle from Rey, as though holding it in plain sight will make the situation all the more real.

Rey’s eyes water, and she mouths, “thank you.”

Rose’s bottom lip trembles against her will, and he eyes sting as salty liquid wells up.

A moment passes.

Rose lifts the needle.

Rey’s eyes find it –

\- and she instantly starts struggling against her restraints, fear igniting across her features.

A hoarse shriek tears itself through a ruined throat, crazed and wild and heart-splitting.

It doesn’t take much effort for Rose to pin Rey down by the shoulder. Tears fall relentlessly onto too-big clothing as Rose pushes the needle into Rey’s neck and presses down, watching the liquid transfer to her friend.

“You can rest now,” she whispers over Rey’s garbled screams that are slowly turning into faint whimpers. The fight leaves Rey’s body. Her eyes slowly flutter shut, her body falling lax against the bed.

Rose gingerly presses a kiss against Rey’s cooling forehead, and two of her tears fall against Rey’s hair.

She throws the needle away and grabs a holopad, calling for Ben and requesting he bring a new needle to replace the one she just used.

Rose grabs the chair she had been sitting it and puts it back against the wall.

She then moves to the next room over and turns the water on.

Once preparations are made, Rose returns to the medical room and turns back to Rey,

For a moment, she watches the steady rise and fall of Rey’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” she says despite knowing that Rey won’t hear her.

 _Now she can get her hair cut_ , Rose thinks to herself.

Rose once more grasps Rey’s hand within her own. “We will save you,” she vows.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


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